Posts Tagged ‘wallow in self-pity’

As we celebrate this wonderful holiday that marks our freedom and independence as a country, I couldn’t help but reflect on the personal freedoms that we have as individuals living here. I am so grateful for the rights that I am guaranteed and which I so often take for granted. And I am so fortunate to have the freedom of choice that so many other people in this world will never know. That is why I want to reflect on that particular gift at this moment.

As I look back over the choices that I have made in my life, I am really satisfied with them as they were always made with the most information that I had available at the time. As with everything in life, we learn and grow as individuals each day and if we obtain additional information as we go that may be in conflict with what we previously thought about a situation or individual and if that information is detrimental to us and/or other family members, etc., then we can choose to change those circumstances. However, it is very hard to make wise choices for ourselves when we get wrapped up in the emotions of a particular situation. I think that the biggest inhibitors are blame and guilt.

How many times have you heard adults justifying their behavior or choices by suggesting that that is what they were taught? Or what about those who choose to do something because someone else told them to do it? They get so wrapped up in blaming someone else for their choices that they completely miss the opportunity that they had to create a better outcome for themselves.

Similarly, when someone makes a decision that results in a less than successful outcome, they feel guilty about it. But why should you feel guilty? Unless you choose to do something that is harmful to someone else, there should be no guilt involved. You did the best that you could with the information that you had and if you find out later that things were not as they appeared then you have the choice to change those circumstances.

You have the right to make choices. You have the right to be a victim of your circumstances. You have the right to blame others for your situation. You have the right to wallow in self-pity for the situation in which you find yourself. However, you also have the right to be happy. You have the right to create the life that you want. You have the right to treat others with kindness and love. But, most importantly, you have the right to choose whatever you want for yourself because you live in a country that guarantees you that freedom. I hope that you choose well.

I would love your comments.



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It is an absolutely beautiful day.  The sun is shining and I hear birds singing. There is a little breeze blowing and the temperature is probably in the low 70’s.  I can see some fabulous flowers blooming from my window.  Who could ask for anything more!

Oh, I am so very grateful that my husband and I each have work that we like and therefore, the money to put food on the table, a roof over our heads and the transportation that we need.  But, more importantly, it allows for me to enjoy this glorious day.  It does matter if you take the time to look around and take in all of the beauty that you can see.  It gives you such a feeling of peace and love and a real appreciation of everything that is just sitting there for you to enjoy.  And it puts you into a frame of mind that allows you to want to share your happiness and gratefulness with others.

I think that is why I am so enjoying my time writing these blogs and sharing my experiences with others.  My realization has been that we all have hard times and tough things with which to deal in our lives.  If you enjoy each day and appreciate all that it gives to you, it doesn’t take long to realize that all of the good things far outweigh the bad or hard times – if that is what you choose for yourself.

By your own choice, you have the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life.  When you have a problem with which to deal, you can address it, choose a course of action and follow that course.  You can put your energy into overcoming the tough things that come your way and you can muster the strength in order to fight the fight.  But, you also can choose to wallow in self-pity and focus on the bad things or the tough times instead.  You can keep saying, “Why me?” and focus all of your energy on feeling badly and concentrating on how life has handed you a bad hand to play.

For me, I chose to take the hard things in stride, face them, deal with them and then try to find out what I could learn from them.  In my writings and sharing my tough times with others, I am hearing from those who have either gone through the same things or have been supportive of others who have experienced the same.  And the one thing that shows up over and over is that all of them have a very positive attitude.  They tell me how much they appreciate my sharing, how it helps them, how it helps others and that I am such a wonderful example to others for the work that I am doing.  And I am sitting here saying, “Whoa!”  These people are awesome.  I know so many people who haven’t faced what I would call a tough day in their lives and they don’t have a bit of appreciation for anything. 

Then I started to wonder, was that the way that I used to be?  Is that the reason that I’ve had to have the experiences that I’ve had?  I know that the answer is no.  But, I also know myself well enough to know that if that had been the reason; I would rather go through the tough times to learn about living than to never have the tough times that resulted in my having an appreciation for the wonder of life.

I’d love to hear your comments in the box below.

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