Posts Tagged ‘smile’

I have a theory. If each one of us took the time to consider the consequences of our actions before we said or did something, we could create a really happy life for ourselves. I came to this conclusion recently as I contemplated how to best handle a rather sticky situation with which I am currently dealing. Quickly stated, I recently had a consultation with a doctor to whom I had been referred by the medical group in which I am enrolled. At the end of the consultation, I was a bit uncomfortable with the way he had chosen to address the matter under discussion and as a result of his subsequent actions I had decided that I did not have the trust in him to perform a surgery that I would need. But then I started to second guess myself. After all, I am not a doctor. What do I know about this procedure? But, I just could not shake the feeling that there was something wrong and that perhaps part of the hesitancy on my part was that I didn’t want to confront the matter.

Then I became extremely uncomfortable about having to confront this situation but I knew in my gut that I could not just let the matter go. I knew that I did not want to create any type of a bad situation for this doctor. After all, he just wasn’t the right one for me but I am sure that there are plenty of other individuals who have been very pleased with him. I needed to find another doctor but I wasn’t sure how I should do that. I considered asking my primary care physician but I had called her and asked for a recommendation before I made the appointment for the consultation and she indicated that any one of three within the group was fine. So, now I have eliminated my PCP. In addition, I don’t think that I would have been comfortable walking into the same office to see either of the other two doctors that were in the same practice after “firing” their partner.

The situation was growing. This surgery was to be one of a two part surgery being done by two different surgeons. I had discussed the matter with the other surgeon before my consultation and he indicated that he knew the other surgeon and he even addressed the matter with him directly before my consultation. After the consultation the two doctors spoke again and the consulting doctor indicated to the second doctor that he did not want to do the combo surgery and after hearing his explanation, the second doctor called me and indicated that he was fine with doing them separately.

I called my second doctor back and am waiting to hear from him. As I wait for a call back, I keep running over and over in my mind how I want to explain the situation without coming off “wrong”. I wake up during the night trying to figure out exactly what I want to say and then I can’t go back to sleep. I am getting nervous with the anticipation. But finally this afternoon, I decided that enough is enough. I have taken into consideration all of the information with which I have to work. I have researched the names of some other doctors who meet the criteria that I need and plan to ask for a recommendation from my doctor when he calls. And if he doesn’t have a recommendation, I will just have a consultation with one of the other choices and make a decision when I have met with a doctor with whom I am comfortable. After all, this is my surgery and I must first consider what is best for me and take responsibility for my choices. It doesn’t really matter what another doctor may think about those choices. This is my life and I need to be comfortable and in a positive frame of mind in order to expect the best outcome. And that applies to every aspect of my life. Now I have a smile back on my face!


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Okay, my smile experiment didn’t go exactly as I expected and I didn’t receive any feedback to incorporate into this week’s musings. However, I did have lots of fun, the presentation went extremely well and the one person that I really wanted to engage seemed to have checked out long before I got to my part. So, for now, I am moving on from this topic and will pick it up again when I feel like I have something substantial to add.In the meantime, I have had a couple of shared meals with two women who I have not seen for a very long time and I quickly recalled why I always found them to be so special. And talk about smiles!!! Both of them could light up any room.

Both of them have had their individual health issues, one with regard to having “died” in the emergency room on three occasions before they were able to stabilize her to triumph once again and the other who had breast cancer surgery three weeks ago and was her normal, sassy self when we met. No one would ever imagine what they have endured.

T.J. and I have not seen each other for 9 years. She happened to be in town on business so we just had to meet. Her heart attacks occurred last August and she has rebounded to the point that she is back to traveling for her company and providing all of her clients with not only a great knowledge but with a big smile, a very witty personality and a real zest for enjoying life.

A.M. just had her surgery so very recently and still faces daily radiation treatments for 6 ½ weeks but you would never have had an indication of this from the big smile and hugs that she had for me after almost 5 years of not seeing her. She had no complaints and no sad tales of woe but only a completely positive attitude about everything.

The one thing that they both have in common with each other and with me is that we are all really happy people. And that which brings us our happiness is our families and friends. The conversations quickly turned away from our recent physical issues to lots of laughter and tales about what great spouses and/or children and grandchildren we have. The talk went on for hours as we shared these tales along with the experiences with each other. There is no amount of money that could buy that kind of love and laughter and caring and sharing and if you have those things in your life, you have everything.

So my slightly late tribute to St. Valentine’s Day is directed to my own very special Valentine, the greatest guy in the world and my heart and soul who I treasure more and more each day. I don’t know what I would do without you and I thank God each and every day for the time that I get to spend with you.

I would also like to send my love and thanks to each and every loving person who is a part of my life – for who you are and what you mean to me. I have been so fortunate to have so many upbeat, fun, loving and caring people in my life who bring smiles to my face on a daily basis. All of our lives are filled with happiness and fun and when “situations” come our way we just face them with smiles on our faces, deal with them and get back to the business of living our lives. For me, that is exactly the way it should be.

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Did you ever notice what happens when you smile? Well, give it a try. Go ahead. Right now. Now, how do you feel? Yes, I know what you mean. When you are smiling, you feel good. All thoughts of anything bad or negative just go away. And if you keep on smiling, you just can’t feel badly.

Now while you are still smiling, think about something that normally makes you very sad or brings you to tears. Hold that smile and you just can’t go to that sad place. I just discovered this and I wanted to share it with you. I don’t know how it works but I just know that it does.

Now, let’s see what happens when you smile at someone else. Some people may look at you a little strangely but if you just keep smiling, you just might see those stern faces crack a little bit. And when you smile at your family and friends and co-workers, you can pretty much get a smile back from each person every time.

So what, you might ask? Well, those smiles back and forth and all around create a lot of positive energy. It makes you feel happy and it makes other people feel happy. So, I decided to do a little experiment.

For ten minutes, I made sure to smile at every single person with whom I came into contact. Amazingly, every single person smiled back and some even said hello. I liked this. I was having a lot of fun and I could see the difference that the smiling had made on others. Now I am wondering whether I can make this work in whatever I do.

So tomorrow morning, I have to give a presentation to more than 50 people. I haven’t had much time to work on it and even less time to practice it which makes me a little nervous. But I plan to interject a lot of smiles into my talking points and I am looking forward to seeing whether this helps me to have success. It might just be a matter of thinking that it will work or it may be that having a smile for everyone will reposition my thoughts from fear to fun. We’ll just have to see if it works and I do plan to report back to you next week.

In the meantime, I want to experiment with this a bit to see how it goes and should you choose to give it a try yourself, I would love your feedback about how it did or didn’t work for you. I think that creating an environment that is full of smiles will not only make me happy but it should make a lot of other people happy as well.

What is the worse thing that might happen? A few people might think that I am a little crazy but that doesn’t bother me. Other than that, I can’t see anything on the downside. On the upside, it makes me feel good when I smile, it is lots of fun doing so, it’s interesting to watch others’ reactions and it makes me happy to make others happy. Gee, it seems that something that is so simple can have such a great impact on creating happiness. And the bottom line is that creating happiness it what it is all about for me.

Have fun and I will report back to you the results of my experiments and if you choose to share your thoughts and experiments, I will incorporate your results into my writing. I figure that the more we learn about each other, the more success we will have in creating happy lives for ourselves.

I would love your comments.


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