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Posts Tagged ‘love of God’

I have spent a great portion of my life allowing others to make my decisions for me.  When I was a child, I did everything according to what my parents dictated.  As I grew older, the peer pressure kicked in and off and running I went with the pack.  Then it was in the work place where I acquiesced to all of the rules and regulations of the office.  And at the same time, my social life was governed by all of the usual ways of meeting and getting to know others.  That was until I started to see that all of the tried and true methods of existing with others didn’t work for me.

The first thing that I had decided to tackle was religion.  I had been raised to believe that God was someone/something to fear.  This worked for all of the time that I was under the thumb of my parents and religious studies but once I was on my own, I started to question this premise.  That wasn’t my God – my God loved me and helped me and I was made in his image.  Ding, ding, ding!  So what everyone else had told me was true was not my truth. 

That wasn’t the end by a long shot.  As I moved through the work place, I worked very hard and was able to work my way up through the ranks in a segment of government dealing with taxation.  When I reached the top position that I could attain without a political appointment, I knew that it was time to move on but that did not happen until I learned another very important lesson.  There were rumors going around that said that the only way that I could have achieved what I had was because I was “sleeping” with someone higher executive.  I was having a really hard time dealing with that and I chose to discuss it with my dad.  His response to me was that at the end of the day, I had to answer to myself and if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, then it didn’t really matter what anyone had to say.  Now that was something that fitted with my thinking.

Well, I guess I still hadn’t learned my lesson because the next big event in my life was my marriage to a controlling and abusive man to whom I gave my power for 10 years.  It took me that long to understand that I did not deserve the abuse that I was receiving and that all of the things that I was told that were wrong with me just weren’t true.  I believe that that was my true turning point.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I still do ask for people’s opinions especially when I need to make a decision in an area where I don’t have any expertise.  But, I will take that information and do my own research and if something doesn’t make sense to me or doesn’t feel right, I will not stop until I can reach a decision that feels like the right thing for me.  This has ruffled more than a few feathers along the way but if my relationship with another person has to be based upon what that person thinks about me, it won’t take long until we part ways.

So to anyone who comes my way in this lifetime, I don’t care what you think about me.  I will appreciate you for exactly who and what you are and I expect the same in return.  I will support you in any decisions that you make and I will accept nothing less in return.  And should you choose to talk negatively about me or do things that are harmful to me, I will not do anything in retribution but will quietly remove myself from your sphere, knowing that what goes around comes around and you can set up any karma for yourself that you choose.

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It is an absolutely beautiful day.  The sun is shining and I hear birds singing. There is a little breeze blowing and the temperature is probably in the low 70’s.  I can see some fabulous flowers blooming from my window.  Who could ask for anything more!

Oh, I am so very grateful that my husband and I each have work that we like and therefore, the money to put food on the table, a roof over our heads and the transportation that we need.  But, more importantly, it allows for me to enjoy this glorious day.  It does matter if you take the time to look around and take in all of the beauty that you can see.  It gives you such a feeling of peace and love and a real appreciation of everything that is just sitting there for you to enjoy.  And it puts you into a frame of mind that allows you to want to share your happiness and gratefulness with others.

I think that is why I am so enjoying my time writing these blogs and sharing my experiences with others.  My realization has been that we all have hard times and tough things with which to deal in our lives.  If you enjoy each day and appreciate all that it gives to you, it doesn’t take long to realize that all of the good things far outweigh the bad or hard times – if that is what you choose for yourself.

By your own choice, you have the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life.  When you have a problem with which to deal, you can address it, choose a course of action and follow that course.  You can put your energy into overcoming the tough things that come your way and you can muster the strength in order to fight the fight.  But, you also can choose to wallow in self-pity and focus on the bad things or the tough times instead.  You can keep saying, “Why me?” and focus all of your energy on feeling badly and concentrating on how life has handed you a bad hand to play.

For me, I chose to take the hard things in stride, face them, deal with them and then try to find out what I could learn from them.  In my writings and sharing my tough times with others, I am hearing from those who have either gone through the same things or have been supportive of others who have experienced the same.  And the one thing that shows up over and over is that all of them have a very positive attitude.  They tell me how much they appreciate my sharing, how it helps them, how it helps others and that I am such a wonderful example to others for the work that I am doing.  And I am sitting here saying, “Whoa!”  These people are awesome.  I know so many people who haven’t faced what I would call a tough day in their lives and they don’t have a bit of appreciation for anything. 

Then I started to wonder, was that the way that I used to be?  Is that the reason that I’ve had to have the experiences that I’ve had?  I know that the answer is no.  But, I also know myself well enough to know that if that had been the reason; I would rather go through the tough times to learn about living than to never have the tough times that resulted in my having an appreciation for the wonder of life.

I’d love to hear your comments in the box below.

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I have always enjoyed the celebration of Easter.  I understand and appreciate the religious significance and have always felt very spiritual on this day.  I am sorry that many of the other traditions associated with the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ have gone by the wayside in recent years.  But I do enjoy the fun of the Easter egg hunts, the awesome floral displays provided by nature and the special meals associated with this beautiful holiday that is celebrated in the glory of a most gorgeous spring day.

Last year, I was not able to celebrate Easter.  Although it was not on the same weekend, Kirk and I found ourselves on a plane to Florida in order to attend my brother’s funeral.  He had died unexpectedly earlier in the week in surgery and we were all walking around in a state of shock.  I suppose Easter will always hold those memories but I definitely have incorporated all of my family’s traditions into the celebration again this year.

I suppose what I love most about the holiday is the way that it is celebrated with family and friends.  It is so nice to see everyone getting dressed up in their best finery and going to church together.  I love the joy of the children hunting for the hidden candies and the delight when they locate them.  I love the fun that we all have while rolling the hard boiled eggs to see who has the winner from the nest.  I really enjoy preparing the meal where we all sit down together and share lots of good conversation.  But, most of all, it is the togetherness that reigns supreme.

I hear so many people talk about how they wish that the spirit of the holidays would remain all year around.  The interesting thing is that if you gather your family and friends near you and keep them there, you have that same sense of happiness and holiday all of the time.  In these days and times, it seems that everyone is so very busy that they can’t seem to sit down together for a meal or plan some time to spend with one another.  They are missing out on the important things in life.  If you must work long hours, it is not only important to you but also to your family to give them some dedicated time.  It may be only 10 or 15 minutes but not only do you have a moment to wind down but also they know how important they are to you if you make them feel special in this way.

If possible, share at least one meal a day with your family and/or friends.  It gives you time to sit back and relax and talk and laugh rather than plopping yourself down in front of the TV or computer and not even being able to enjoy your meal.  If you can go out on a porch or patio and enjoy the sunshine and beauty around you, this can vastly improve your experience.  If you are all alone, then prepare something really special for yourself and light some candles and turn on the music and sit back and relax.  You work hard and you deserve to treat yourself in a way that rewards your efforts.

No matter what you choose to do, you will be so much happier and alive if you include the spirit of a holiday into each day of your life.  Put a smile on your face, picture a cute bunny in your mind and send out tons of happy greetings to every person that you meet along the way.  If that is your focus, you can count on your day being so much brighter.

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Today is April 8th and this is a very special day in my life.  It was my father’s birthday.  My father passed away on January 2, 1989.  On April 8, 1989, I met Kirk and another special friend.  I remember that as I returned home after meeting these two people that I realized that it was my father’s birthday and I thanked him for the gifts that he had sent to me on his special day.  Little did I realize at that time that my father had actually sent to me that day the man that would ultimately become my husband.

 

Kirk and I had moved to Nashville at the request of some music executives that were starting a new record company and who wanted to have Kirk record for their new label.  However, they never received the final funding for their new venture so we saved up our money and moved back to the Los Angeles area to start over.  I had taken a temp position with a company with whom I wanted to have a long-term association and I was hired as a permanent employee starting on, of course, April 8th.  And I am still working for that same company today – 12 years later.

 

I believe that this was my dad’s way of helping me after he had crossed over to the other side.  I don’t think that anything happens by accident nor do I believe in coincidences.  If I take the time to think about things in retrospect, I can see how the happenings in life have a purpose and how they provide me with the opportunity to learn new lessons at each step of the way.  And as long as I continue to think this way, I find that everything that happens allows me to grow in peace, prosperity and happiness in this life.

 

My ultimate challenge is finding a way to help others to understand this basic premise.  Life is simple.  If we choose, we can make it difficult but it doesn’t have to be that way.  I recently had a long conversation with a friend who was totally in the “Woe is me!” mode, who believes that the tough times that she has experienced are some of the worst ever and who faces each day worrying that more of the same trials will come her way.  It was most difficult for me to not say to her that as long as she stays in that mode of thinking, more than likely, those same trials will, in fact, come her way.

 

There are three things in play here for her.  First, we manifest what we think and believe.  As long as she puts out into the universe that she expects more trials and tribulations that is exactly what she will draw to herself.  Second, in each tough moment, we have the opportunity to learn a lesson.  If we choose not to learn our lessons, we will have the opportunity to have more and more of the same experiences until we do learn or until we crumble under the weight of the negativity that we have created for ourselves.  And third, we need to take responsibility for the choices that we make.  I will reserve further comment on that until next week.

 

I thank my father for the gifts that he has sent my way since his passing, not only on his birthday but throughout the years.  I thank him for showing me the purpose of awareness so that I have been able to expand it into all facets of my life.  And I thank him now for the help that he will provide in the future in helping me to find the way to share the things that he has taught me in my quest to help others.  And I will know exactly the moment when that happens as I will have been able to help someone else to understand the things that I know and live.  I just can’t wait for that to happen so that I can share his gifts with others. 

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I had to run some errands this morning and while I was getting ready I noticed that it was raining as had been predicted. I checked the weather report and I heard that it was suppose to continue all day. Right before I was ready to depart, I was hoping that it would at least slow down to a drizzle and I looked through the blinds to find out that it had stopped completely. I immediately found myself saying “Thank you” as I put on my coat to head out. Then I started musing about that “Thank you”.I realized that it was directed to God and that somewhere along the line I had gotten into the habit of thanking God for all of the wonderful things that have come my way. In fact, in my daily prayers I find that I thank Him for everything that he has done for me (and Kirk, and family, etc.), for everything that He is doing and for everything that he will do.

I don’t remember exactly when I started doing that. I know that someone had told me to do it and at the time it felt right, so, I did it. And as I thought about it today, I remember that over the years, whenever something wonderful came my way, I felt such a high level of elation as I thanked Him for so many things. I realized that I had also slipped into it in my daily life on just about every level. For example, if someone cut me off while driving, I thanked Him for keeping me from getting into an accident. That helped me because I was using my energy in that manner rather than getting pissed off at the driver who cut me off. Or when I got some wonderful news about something, my thoughts went immediately to that every present “Thank you”. Often I actually feel like I am jumping up and down on the inside and I just can’t stop smiling.

Now as I reflect on it, I find that the more that I got into the habit of saying “Thank you” out loud or in my thoughts, I realized that the gratitude I felt would make me feel so happy. Heck, I was so grateful for so many things in my life that it seemed like I was pretty much happy all of the time. When I get bad news, I still am quite capable of getting upset and feeling sorry for myself and I do allow myself to let that out. But rather than staying in that mindset for any period of time, I find that I start to focus on all of the reasons as to why this “bad” news may not be so bad.

I find that this exercise of positive thinking works best when whatever is occurring is happening to me. I am the one who can create the reasons why a particular situation is something for which I am grateful and I am the one who can translate that gratitude into something positive that, in turn, is something that will make me create happiness for myself.
And by the same token, I wish that somehow I could find the way to show this process to others. Perhaps that is what I am hoping to accomplish by these writings.

I have so many wonderful people around me. I wish that there was a manual that I could write that would teach everyone how to create this happiness. So far, the best that I have been able to do is to live my life in a way that hopefully will serve as a good example to others in knowing that happiness is something that we can all own and to share my positive outlook with others so that they can see what a difference it makes.

Every time that I thank someone for whatever kindness they may have done for you or every time that someone appreciates what I have done for them, there is a feeling of gratitude toward one another that is indescribable. And the more that I create that gratitude in my life, the more I create happiness. Seems like a pretty interesting habit to get into if you ask me.

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