With the passing of Michael Jackson yesterday, I, along with just about everyone else I know, turned on the television to watch the coverage. Since new information was rather scarce in the first couple of hours of this breaking story, the first thing that I saw on most stations was the footage from his trial when charges of child molestation were brought against him along with images of how he was dressed, how he acted and just about everything else associated with his comings and goings to the court. This made me really angry.
Michael Jackson was acquitted of the charges brought against him in that case. He also had his reasons for settling the earlier case which does not automatically mean that he must have been guilty. Now if you have read any of my previous blogs or have seen my profile, you immediately know that one of my major platforms has to do with abuse as a result of my own situation. And for me, any abuse, mentally or physically against children, is horrific and must be stopped. However, I also believe that none of us has the right to judge anyone else with regard to things that did or didn’t happen unless we were an integral part of the experience.
For famous people like Michael Jackson, there are always those people who wish to create negative stories just to have their own fifteen minutes of fame or because they want to make money or because they are just plain jealous of someone else’s success. Just because someone has said something does not make it fact. I know that I have been the victim of false accusations in the past and I am sure that most people have had such an experience at one time or another in their lives. And it didn’t take long for others to spread the falsehood as fact and pass judgment accordingly.
I don’t know whether Michael Jackson was guilty of anything because I wasn’t there. I never met the man. Even as far as the court case is concerned, I didn’t hear the evidence and even then, I would have no way of knowing whether there was anything withheld or inserted that could have made a difference in the final outcome. In fact, it really is none of my business. It is the business of those who were directly involved or directly interacted with him.
As far as I am concerned, Michael Jackson and each of us have only to answer to ourselves at the end of the day. No matter what anyone else has to say, I believe that God is my one and only judge. I don’t believe that anyone else has the right to judge my actions anymore than I have the right to judge someone else. Michael left us yesterday to face his final judgment. It is my hope that he has finally found peace in that judgment.
I would love your comments.
I found this quote by MJ in People magazine…..”People can always have a judgment about anything you do. So it doesn’t bother me. Everything can be strange to someone.” It’s so true. Just thought I’d share because it made me think of this blog.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am honored that it reminded you of what had been written in my blog.
It is amazing how people are so quick to judge.I do not understand the world.I think everyone need to look under their own doormats.There just might some dirt that needs to be cleaned.
Very well expressed. Thank you.
I never fully believed that he was capable of molesting children. Was he a tad bat shit crazy? Yes. But then again, so are/were a lot of brilliant artists.
If he had been a woman who was around that many children all the time, no one would have given it a second thought.
I think Michael spent a a lifetime with children in an attempt to heal himself of the horrible abuse he suffered at the hands of his father.
Let me digress for a moment to say:
It seems so unfair that his demonic father out lived him, I’m happy to hear he left that piece of shit out of his will
Anyway,
I honestly believe that in both alleged criminal acts it was a matter of greed and opportunity. The first time someone is believed to have ANY suspicion of wrong doing when it came to children would be the last time that man EVER saw my children again.
For the 2nd time, that was most definitively a set up. The parents knew he had previous allegations against him and saw it as an opportunity to earn some money. What kind of parent would set their children up for that?…..think about children who are sold for sex slavery, it’s a matter of heartless greed.
No normal parent would EVER let their kid around a predator never mind having an unsupervised sleep over. C’mon…
With all the money, fame and love he had around him he was still never able to heal. With all the crazy plastic surgeries, weird item spending, it was obviously that he was searching for something he never found. It’s heartbreaking to think that him and many other celebrities go through life never fully happy despite having what us common folk think of as “having the world at your disposal”.
I could be biased. Michael and his music were a huge part of my childhood. When things got really bad, I could put on my Fisher Price record player, pop on one of his 45’s and if only temporarily, escape from my horrible reality.
For this, I am eternally grateful and he will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart.
Wait a second. You judge MJ’s father. You judge the parents of the children who accused MJ of abuse. Yet MJ shouldn’t be judged? Doesn’t that go against the whole idea of this blog? Or is it just hero worship showing up yet again. Sadly I think that is what is going on.
I have posted the comments that I have received. I have responded to those who took the time to express those comments. I am not sure where you got the idea that there is any hero worship in what I have written in my blog especially since he was no hero of mine. As I have repeatedly said, I am not in a position to judge MJ, his father, the parents of the children who accused him or anyone else because I was not there and I did not know him. However, regardless of what I believe, I do acknowledge and respect the opinions of others and believe in their right to express them. Thank you for expressing your point of view.
I was actually referring to Angelique’s comment. I apologize for any misunderstanding.
Thank you so much for the clarification. I really appreciate it.
Ellen, you know NOTHING about me other than my opinion of Michael Jackson’s guilt.
I don’t worship ANYTHING. MJ was a seriously flawed individual, but I don’t think he molested children.
Get over yourself.
Angelique-you get over yourself. Your hypocrisy is showing. You are willing to condemn everyone except for Michael Jackson.
While I feel obligated to post the comments that I receive that are not openly obscene, I think that we are getting far away from commenting on the blog itself. We all really do have a right to express our individual opinions without having to be concerned about being the recipient of personal commentary. Thank you so much.
I apologize.
Not necessary but thank you. I really do appreciate your providing your point of view.
I feel the same way as you do about Michael Jackson. I do not know what happened with the kids but I have great reservations about the parents who allowed their children to spend days and weeks with a grown man, only to level accusations in order to be paid off. As an abuse survivor I know some parents aren’t above using their children. Still and all, I am not in any place to judge him or anyone else.
I cried when I saw his sister Janet’s appearance at the BET awards – she truly was stunned and obviously grieving. He may have been and icon or an abuser, depending who you speak to, but he still was a member of their family and they feel the loss deeply.
I hope he has found peace with his God and healing for the obvious wounds he carried throughout his life.
“The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
~Mohandas K. Ghandi
Is the ‘Free World” free when our trials take place 1st in the media spin? Once someone is ’spun dry’ on “hearsay and items and bits” … even innocence declared by a court of law will never give that person back their reputation. Our journalists need to examine their own culpability in much that happens. It would be nice if they took some form of journalistic hippocratic oath: e.g. Report the news … but first do no harm.
It seems to me that Brinkley or Cronkite always had a substantial following and plenty of weighty news to convey without the ‘News at 11 Cheap Tease’ and speculation and 1/2 truth reporting that we get now.
It is a sad commentary when people’s lives and reputations are ruined forever when rumors or unconfirmed stories are presented as fact by the media. But that is a part of free speech that is guaranteed by our constitution. Hopefully, more people will learn to not believe everything that they hear.
It is an interesting concept about not judging. But in some ways we have to judge people everyday for our own safety, security and sanity, and I don’t think it is wrong in all cases. Michael Jackson was aquitted of the molestation charges. False charges are terrible..and he could obviously be a target for so many reasons…his money, his fame, his uniqueness. But botton line, he was found NOT guilty. I do agree with the one woman above who said people don’t forget the lies however. A reputation can be tarnished, just with an accusation.
But lets say there is a man who was found GUILTY of child molestation. (and courts and people make mistakes, but more often than not – it is a good system.) I would judge him as a person I don’t want to be around my child. Same goes for a murderer or a rapist. I judge him or her, in that I make a decision not to be around that person. They have the Megan’s law website..so people can find where people convicted of such crimes against children live, and they have pictures up there too…so you and your kid can avoid them..in a sense so you can exercise good judgement. Agreed however that God provides the ultimate judgement.
I don’t have a problem with the media talking about the charges that were levied …if they follow it up with a statement that MJ was aquitted (which some outlets have not done regularly). This was a very public trial… part of his life, and they are also part of the obituary. Just because someone dies, doesn’t mean we only remember the good parts. Bill Clinton’s obit will talk about Monica. Brittany’s obit will mention her shaving her head. OJ’s obit…etc…
I understand what you are saying with regard to having to make determinations or judgments about the people who are in our lives as friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. in the need to protect ourselves and our families. And, of course, we do need to be informed about convicted individuals. I think what bothers me though is that I truly believe that the judgment of MJ and others who are not even a part of our personal lives is not acceptable. But as you indicate, that will always be a part of any person’s legacy who is in the limelight. Thank you for providing your very unique insight.
RIP Michael Jackson. He was one of my faves in the late 70’s early 80’s. He contributed so much to the music industry.
So he was different……..we all are. He WAS acquitted, so we are NOT to be the judges.
My prayers go out to his kiddos and his family. Michael inspired many of us with no rhythm to attempt the moonwalk lol although it unsuccessful on my part lol.
He will be missed!
As fans explain something to me. Even if you ignore the things such as a grown adult inviting children over for sleepovers and sleeping in the same bed as them (which is creepy in itself). Jurors on the second trial admitted to thinking he was guilty yet found him not guilty due to his celebrity. They let him go because of who he was. Can you explain to me why you still support him when you hear things like that? I heard that and was disgusted. They ignored the evidence and let him go based on his celebrity. Yet people are on here defending him.
Someone told me that “well he donated a lot of money to charity”. To me that does not take away from what he did. Can someone please explain to me why they still defend him? Why they let their children listen to his music knowing what he is? To me it is condoning what he did. I am not being sarcastic – I just do not understand.
Thank you for your response. I do want to indicate that I was not a “fan” of Michael Jackson although I do appreciate the contribution that he made to the music world. The point that I was trying to make is that the majority of people have made a judgment about what he did or did not do and since none of us were there, we can’t possibly know the true story. In addition, with regard to a court trial, we never know what information may have been presented that wasn’t true or what information may have been suppressed that made a difference in the outcome. I just personally believe that the only person that I can judge is myself and not a single other person.
The hardest thing for a child to do is speak out for themselves and tell somebody that they were abused by an adult. There is so much guilt and shame involved because we believe it’s our fault. Or that nobody will believe us. I’m speaking from experience. I never told because I thought it was my fault and that nobody would believe me. When we hear that other children tell their story and they aren’t believed, it tells us that we have no voice. Nobody will ever believe us. Especially when people say things like ~ “He would never do that. He’s such a good person. I know him!” You can be a good person to everybody else, and still be a child molestor. You can be a preacher, Sunday school teacher, teacher, lawyer, wonderful dad, baseball coach, a good Christian, etc…. and still be a child molestor. People see child molestors as these evil looking people. But they are everywhere and they hide behind the fact that nobody would ever think that they could do it. That’s how they get away with it. The grooming process for a lot of child molestors is to shower the child with love, attention and affection ~ when it might be lacking in their world. When you are a person with power like Michael Jackson, nobody wants to believe the child and believe he could do such a thing. He is the “king of pop” and does a lot of charity work. Only a few kids actually speak up and tell. And then when nobody believes them, they don’t tell anymore and it continues. A child’s worst fear is that nobody will believe them and that they will be blamed. While I’m not saying that Micheal did abuse or didn’t, there is a child involved who spoke up for himself. He was scared to death and felt so much shame. The second child did not even want money like the first child. He just wanted to be heard and believed. If he was truly abused, I feel so sorry for him that nobody believed him. It also proved to all the other children that if you speak out, nobody will believe you. So why bother. Since of course I don’t know the whole story, I have no idea what the truth is. I’m just trying to give you a view from the child. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. The thing is, Michael Jackson died and was a major icon. I was a big fan and I still love his old music. His star faded a bit in my eyes over the past few years. But I didn’t totally believe everything I heard or read. I know things can be so twisted in the media. God will have the final judgement. Not me. By the way, I’m not sure if my tone comes across in this or not. But I was just sharing my view in a calm way. I’m not defending Michael or accusing him. Just sharing.
You have expressed yourself very clearly and I am completely in agreement with you about children virtually having no voice when it comes to abuse. Thank you so much for sharing. It is truly appreciated.
Ellen, no one is ignoring the accusations, but accusations must be supported by evidence in order for them to be validated. Was his behavior unusual? Yes. Was it in appropriate? That was for the court to decide, and though you say that the jurors on the second trial “admitted to thinking he was guilty yet found him not guilty due to his celebrity…” I could not find one shred of evidence to support that. Also, I wonder, if they did say that, why the court didn’t take action to make sure the jurors were not dazzled by his celebrity, even if it meant another trial. And I am not being sarcastic, either. I am seriously asking…where did you get your information? Did one of them write a book or something? Thanks.
In regards to the two jurors speaking out about the trial and saying that they believed he was guilty ~ I actually saw the interview with the two jurors that talked. They did say ~ “We believe he was guilty. There is not a shadow of a doubt that he did it.” I’m not sure what channel it was. But the interview was played again right after MJ’s death. I believe the interview was on Dateline right after the trial. I saw the interview right after the trial and again the day after his death. I don’t know what purpose it was supposed to serve to admit that they believed he was guilty after the trial was over. But they said it. Here is the link that I found about the 2 jurors ~
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8880663/ns/entertainment-music/#storyContinued
The jurors were interviewed by the press. They said their comments on the air and in interviews with the press afterward.
I grew up with Michael Jackson’s music and saw his ever changing styles and looks. In my ever so humble opinion AND as a fellow domestic abuse survivor, Michael Jackson’s only crime was he dared to be himself, albeit different. I have and will until my own judgement day in what ever form it really comes in believe he is innocent of all the garbage he has been accused of. I have survived 10 years of physical abuse. I have survived the suicide of my son, the murder of my little sister and the death of my mother from cancer….all in 8 years. There are alot of people that think I am lying about the abuse and therefore lie about everything. I am afraid that I will die like Michael Jackson. A person that no one really knew but believed nothing but lies and assumptions and cast false judgements.
Thank you for your comments. You have endured enough to continue to face life surrounded by people who don’t believe you and don’t believe in you. Just remember that when you go to bed at night that you don’t answer to them and it doesn’t really matter what they think. If these are your family and friends then I think that you may want to set them aside in your life and go out and meet new people who will love you and appreciate you for who you are.
Only the Lord knows the truth.
From personal experience, I had a person who I had previously thought loved me tell the media, family, and friends complete and utter lies about me because they wanted to take everything from me – including my one and only living daughter (my first daughter died during delivery due to work refusing to release me – not believing I was in labor and my doctor’s negligence because he did not handle the situation as it should have been). That same person also tried to kill me out of greed when some people started seeing through his lies.
The media and the people who watch tv and write in to websites were terribly horrific to me and I was completely innocent. The media spins things to get the largest amount of viewers watching – it has nothing to do with the truth and I learned that from personal experience. For the person who is being lied about on national tv, it is devastating. Even if lies are told and you are found innocent in the end, people don’t forget the lies.
Let me give an example: A man thinks his spouse cheated and has a paternity test done on tv. His spouse did not have sex with anyone else before or after marriage. The test comes back that the child is the father’s (who downplays or does not reveal his own unfaithfulness). Now the woman walks away from the show with people still thinking she is a slut or promiscuous even though the paternity was proven. A reputation for a living person ruined so that a show can make money and an abusive man is allowed to kick his spouse some more on national tv. Here is an even sadder fact on this true example – the show paid the man money and paid the wife nothing! I could tell more about this true story but I will stop because the point has been made.
The media, tv, and the news don’t care if they drive an innocent person into suicide or isolation. There have been several cases of young women in Florida whose children were kidnapped but the media spun on the mother and the young women have literally killed themselves. There child, their life, was already missing or dead… then their life was ruined by lies, they broke. Very sad.
Greed and jealousy will drive people to lie. Hate and evil will cause people to kill.
Sometimes people are abused and they grow up to be abusers. However, other people face them same abuse and they would never hurt a fly or a child.
Thank you so very much for your comments. I understand exactly what you are saying and I truly feel sorry for the pain and suffering that you had to endure. I do hope that when your family and friends heard the lies that were being told about you that they knew that they were lies and that they stood by you. But as a public figure, there is absolutely nothing that you can do once those lies hit the free world. People judging other people is one of the single most destructive things that most do on a regular basis. I must say though that the only ones for whom I do not feel sorry are those who choose to appear on reality TV. If you are not a person who is publicly recognizable and you choose to have a paternity test done for the world to see, that is your choice. Your public airing is not beneficial to one single person out there in TV land and certainly not of benefit to the people who are actually involved. As an adult you do have the right to make that choice to keep your business private. Your sharing your story is truly appreciated. It gives hope to others who have endured the same kind of treatment to know that they are not alone and it gives them a different perspective in knowing that they can survive even the toughest times because you have. That is an incredible gift to share.