This post has been moved to my new and improved blog at http://www.letlifehappen.com/2009/05/17/i-fired-my-friend/
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Barbara
I Fired My Friend
May 17, 2009 by Barbara Jacoby
21 Responses
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Smiling as I read this! There is definitely a lot I can learn from you for sure! I have/had the same kind of friend in my life. More than one actually. They just suck the air out of my lungs and leave me breathless. I figured out WHY I let them in and stay for so long. But how to get rid of them is the question. WHY? Why would I let somebody use me and treat me like this? Because I am the eternal people pleaser. I want to make everybody happy ~ even at the risk of hurting myself in the process. And heaven forbid I hurt their feelings and tell them how I really feel. It’s all about them. They don’t seem to mind that they know very little about me because they talked about themselves the whole time. With this particular friend that I am still in contact with, I was even calling her to get together so she could complain about her life. What was I thinking? For reasons unknown to me, she told a mutual friend of mine that she thought I was too clingy. ME?!!!! Not even. I am just the person that gets all of my friends together. But I rarely got a word in with this friend at all. So how did she see me as being clingy? I still don’t get it. Our mutual friend said she didn’t agree with her. So I started backing off and not calling her at all. She has called me once or twice in the 6 months that I didn’t call her. And I see her at the gym sometimes and chat for a minute. But she comes to me. I don’t seek her out. She just asked me to dinner this Thursday. I am not sure I could “fire” my friend. But I can decide if and when I’m going to spend time with her. I think for me, it’s really about not wanting to rock the boat with anybody in it. I want everybody to like me. I will go to great lengths for that to happen. So firing my friend would cause her to NOT LIKE ME ANYMORE!!! And you know what? I could probably live with that after I got over the guilt. Thanks for sharing your friend struggle. I relate!
I couldn’t have said it better myself. You obviously have great insight into yourself and that is so important. Thank you so much for sharing.
i love this as i have fired many friends since my diagnoses.
in the past I had thought that it was friends i needed .
Now i know that i need my son and love all around. no negativity..just positive vibes.
You know, I never thought about it in that way. But since my diagnosis, I too have found out who my real friends are and who and what are my priorities.
Yeah, I agree. If you truly consider yourself a “friend” then you should always do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do- what will make you the happiest. As they say, if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was truly yours…I’m sure you get the idea.
I feel exactly the same way. I had people who I trusted and confided in, and they consistently tried to push me in certain directions- INCLUDING directions that they, themselves were UNWILLING to go. THEY were single moms, and so was I.
Suffice it to say, we have gone our separate ways.
If you can’t walk the walk, then you should never talk the talk.
No “Draining” necessary.
I’m sure that those who judge others are continuously walking on water!!!
By NOT gossiping. ??? No…that won’t happen!
Good for you. I certainly can relate because I had a friend who would just drain the hell out of me then I stopped letting her. I love reading your blogs
I am so glad that you enjoy the blogs. I can’t stop laughing about your saying that you had a friend who would just drain the hell out of you. I totally understand what that is like. You made my day with that one.
HELLO AMIGA
LA VERDAD DE TENER UNA AMIGA DE VERDAD REAL SINCERA..NO LO SE SI EXISTE… YO TUBE UNA Y ME FALLO..PENSE QUE LO ERA..CREI EN ELLA Y CONFIE EN ELLA
Y LO QUE ERA EN REALIDAD ERA UN DEMONIO DE MUJER..QUE TRAJE A MI HOGAR..PENSANDO QUE ERA BUENA Y NO..TODO LO CONTRARIO.QUE VINO A MI CASA
COMIENDO CON LOS OJOS Y TRATAR DE QUITARME TODO Y MI VIDA Y ESPOZO..DESTRUYENDO TODO EN UN SEGUNDO..MIENTRAS YO CONFIABA EN ELLA
Y ESTABA CIEGA ..CIEGA
Y A MIS ESPALDAS..LA MENTIRA TRAICION.. CLAVANDOME UN PUNAL POR LA ESPALDA
SIN IMPORTARLES MI DOLOR Y MI ANGUSTIA.. Y QUE TRATO CON MAGIA NEGRA DESTRUIRME HACERME DANO..NO PUDO CONMIGO
LE SALIO MAL…PERO DESTRUYO LA FE QUE YO TENIA EN MI MARIDO..TODO SE FUE..CON SU LLEGADA A MI CASA..Y ESO ME PASA…POR CONFIAR EN LA GENTE..DECIR SI CREO EN LA AMISTAD…NO LO SE… TUBE EXPERIENCIA MUY MALA CON ELLA. UNA BASURA FUE.. Y ESO ES NO SER AMIGA..PERO QUE PENSE QUE ME DARIA SU APOYO .EN LAS TERAPIAS AL MEDICO Y OTRAS COSAS Y SU INTENCION ERA OTRA…QUE SE PUEDE ESPERAR..SI DAS EL CORAZON A UNA AMISTAD Y SE QUISO QUEDAR…CN LO QUE ERA MI VIDA…MI HOGAR..PERO DIOS ES JUSTO Y CASTIGA
DIOS ESPODEROZO Y MI DECEO ES QUE ELLA
SUFRA TANTO O MAS QUE YO Y QUE LE HAGAN LO MISMO QUE ELLA ME HISO A MI..QUE SUFRA..POR QUE NO SE MERECE OTRA COSA..QUE ESO
DESLEALTAD A UNA AMIGA QUE LE OFRECIO TODA SU CONFIANZA
SOLO DEPRECIO
PARA MIS AMIGAS HERMANAS POR EL MISMO DOLOR…QUE ES… DE CUANDO NOS ATACA EL CANCER
SEAN FUERTES
LUCHEN..NO CUELGUEN LOS GUANTES ..PIENSEN QUE LA VIDA ES LINDA .SIGAN LAS INSTRUCIONES DEL DOCTOR AUNQUE SON MUY FUERTES.. NO SE DESANIMEN..LUCHE
Y SI EN ALGO PUEDO YO TESTIFICAR FUE QUE YO HICE MI TERAPIA ASI
COMIENDO MUCHO
TRATANDO DE RETENER TODA LA COMIDA A PESAR DE QUE QUERIA SALIR CORRIENDO A VOMITAR..
NO LO HAGAN
TRATEN DE RETENER TODO EN SU ESTOMAGO…ASI ESO LAS AYUDA APONERSE FUERTE CUANDO NOS DAN ESA MEDICINA …QUE ES VENENO…PERO MATA EL CANCER.. Y SI NO SE PONEN FUERTES EL CANCER GANA..LA BATALLA..POR QUE NO SUPIERON PONERSE FUERTE Y DEVIL ES..CUANDO MAS FUERTE SE PONE EL CANCER…POR ESO
EN LAS TERAPIAS COMAN DULCES///PARA QUITAR ESE FEO SABOR DE LA BOCA..ESCUCHEN MUCHA M,USICA
CUANDO SE SIENTAN QUE DECAEN ANIMENSEN AUNQUE NO TENGAN GANAS
CIERREN LOS OJOS Y DEJENSEN LLEBAR POR LA MELODIA
Y LO MEJOR ES
COMER COMIDAS RICAS
POR ESO TRAJE A MI MAMA
SE QUEDO CONMIGO UN ANO
YESO ME AYUDO MUCHO
SUS RICAS COMIDAS
MIENTRAS YO DECIA
NO PUEDO MASSSS..TENGO QUE BOMITAR Y NO LO HACIA CERRABA LA BOCA FUERTE Y TRAGABA Y TRAGABA LOS BOMITOS SIN LEBANTARME Y AGUANTANDO MI ESTOMAGO DEL DOLOR
Y ASI DIA A TRAS DIA
YO NOTE
QUE ME PONIA MAS FUERTE Y EL COLOR REGRESABA A MI ROSTRO
ME SENTIA MAS FUERTE..Y ME DIJE
ESO ME ESTA AYUDANDO A CONTROLAR LOS EFECTOS DE LA MEDICINA
Y POCO A POCO..CON TODA MI FE PUESTA AHI
LUCHE..LUCHEEE A MAS NO DAR
Y CREO QUE LE GANE…….. AL MALDITO CANCER
A TODAS ELLA HERMANAS…QUE SOMOS UNAS CAMPEONAS
NO BAJEN LOS BRAZOS
PIENSEN LO BONITO DE LA VIDA..QUE TIENEN POR QUIEN LUCHAR
FAMILIA HIJOS NIETOS.
PONGAN EN SU MENTE TODAS LAS CLAVES DE LA VIDA
QUE ESO AYUDA Y MUCHO
A MI ME AYUDO Y PUEDO ASEGURARLO
ESTA ES MI HISTORIA SIN FINAL FELIZ
PERO ESTOY VIVA VIVAAAAAAAAAA
SOBREVIVI AL CANCER
Y CON MUCHA FE PUESTA
LO QUE HISO ESA MUJER
YA NO ME AFECTA NI ME DUELE
ME DEDICO A HACER VIDEOS DONDE M,E RELAJO Y ESCRIBO TODO LO QUE SIENTO
HUNM BUENA TERAPIA TAMBIEN
DONDE ESPRESO TODO LO QUE ME PASO
TODO EL DOLOR DE UN ENGANO
LO QUE SUFRI
Y ASI ..VOY PARA ADELANTE SIN MIRAR ATRAS
PARA MUJERES ENGANADAS HAJAJA..
PERO ME GUSTA
SOY SOBREVIVIENTE DE CANCER
Y YA VOY POR LOS 5 ANOS Y 4 MESES..YEAHHH…
LES DOY TODA MIS BENDICIONES A MIS HERMANAS CAMPEONAS
SIGAN ADELANTE
FUERTES Y LINDAS
SI PIERDEN EL PELO
NO IMPORTA
REGRESA MAS LINDO
Y CON RULOS
HAJAJAJAJA
Y RECUERDEN SOMOS HERMOSAS SIN PELO TAMBIEN
SE ME CUIDAN LAS QUE ESTAN ENFERMITAS
Y SI PUEDEN HAGAN MI TEPIA TAMBIEN LASAYUDARA A PASAR EL MAL MOMENTO
UN BESO
JIMMY
TRADUSCO ESTO EN INGLES
PERO NO ESTA PERFECTO
PERO SE PUEDE ENTENDER
JUANA ORTIZ
AMIGA
TENER UNA AMIGA…HUNM !! NO LO SE
TO HAVE AN TRUE FRIEND REALLY IS IMPORTANT
I HAD ONE
I SINK THAT WAS AN FRIEND REALLY AND IT WAS NOT THUS…
WAS A DEMON WHO CAME IN MEY HOME TO DESTROY
IN A SECOND MY LIFE. .EN THE MOMENT WHEN I MIND THE HELP YOU SOPORT.. HIS SUPPORT !!
AND WHAT!!!
WAS EAT WITH THE EYES
AND TO CLEAR TO ME… WHAT I TAPEWORM MY LIFE MY HOME LIER .Y DOING THINGS I AM SURVIVING OF CANCER I ALREADY HAVE BEEN TO 5 ANUSES AND 4 MONTHS YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !!!
ADVANCED WINS BATTLE TO HIM. .NO LETS TAKE TO ME BY… THE GLOVES I GARE .. DOES FIGHT.. WHAT STORY I HAPPEN TO ME HERE WITH HER…. MY AMIGA… MY FRIEND… HUNMM…!!!
THE ONE THAT CREI FRIEND ,TAKE ADVANTAGE THE SIUACION MAKES THREE ANUSES. . I BROUGHT TO MY HOME .HERE
THE MITING HER… IN THAT THEN MY HUSBAND .WAS WONDERFUL WITH ME.
FIRST ANUSES OF CANCER THERAPY QUIMO EVERYTHING… LOVED MUCH MY HOSPEND AND NEVER SINKC.. THAT COULD FAIL TO ME THAT WOMAN COULD NOT EVEN THOUGH WITH ME…
THAT HI USE BLACK MAGIC TO DESTROY ME…
COULD NOT WITH ME ..BUT.. WHAT PROFIT WAS THAT LOST ALL THE FAITH THAT I TAPEWORM. .EN MY HOSPEND THAT FIREND. HISO THINGS AND IS LONG TO COUNT…
BUT BOTH THEY DECEIVED TO ME AND BLIND I… BLIND SO THAT BEIEVE IN HER.
AND THEY DID NOT RESPECT MY PAIN. AND TO BACKS THEY NAILED THE DAGGER TO ME. .
A PESAR DE WHAT CANCER WAS LIVING… BUT THE COMBATI THUS MY THERAPY WAS. . SUCKS. .
I HELP MUCH MY DAUGHTER. BY SHORT TIME SINCE BY MY NIETITOS. SHE COULD NOT BE MORE TIME… WINE OF GERMANY
MY MATHER OF ARGENTINA.. THOSE MOMENTS WERE HORRIBLE OF HORRIBLE THERAPIES
AND MY THERAPY WAS IT WAS… TO EAT TO EAT… NOT TO LET TO ME DECAY BY THE EFFECTS OF THE MEDICINE.. AND RETAIN EVERYTHING WHAT I ITT. WITHOUT THROWING IT TO THE TOILET ….. TO VOMIT…
AT THE MOMENTS OF DEPRECION IT LISTENED. .MUCHA MUSIC MUSIC…
SIII SWEET THINGS,
TO SWEETEN MOUTH
AND THAT VENENO.QUE US PONIAN TO FIGHT CANCER. .
YO PERDI ALL MY HAIR …MY NEALS BLACK . .MI BEAUTIFUL HAIR, THAT WAS UNTIL MAS UNDERNEATH HIPS LARGUISIMO… I DO NOT REMAIN NOTHING BUT SALI ADVANCED. IT DOES NOT LET TO ME WIN…TO
IF I WENT MITT TO THAT WOMAN… WHO CAME HOME. AND HISO WHICH HISO AFTER THREE ANUSES HE WAS VERY PAINFUL FOR MY BUT ….ALREADY ADVANCED. . FINE
YA NO CONCERNS THAT TO ME I GAIN YY I AM THE LADY AND SHE WAS ONLY SWEEPINGS
THAT
WHAT CREI THAT WAS AN FRIEND REALLY
BUT GOD IS GREAT AND PODEROZO AND I BELIEVE IN JUSTICE
AND MY DECEO IS THAT IT UNDERGOES SO MUCH… OR MORE THAT HI DO TO MY
I. AND THAT DOES TO HER… THE SAME TO HIM… THAT SHE FIILING
. .PERDI CONFIDENCE TO MY HOSPEND
. .ER FOOL OF THE PEDESTAL WHERE I IT TAPEWORM. .
PERO THUS AM LIFE. .
DIOS I HELP TO HAVE FAITH AND NOT TO COMMIT ANY TRIVIALITY AND THAT STUBE ON THE VERGE OF DOING IT… BUT DO NOT DESERVE IT MY LIFE
IS IMPORTANT . AND ALIVE KNOWLEDGE THAT… S MY HAPPINESS. .PODER TO SEE GROW TO MY GRANDSONS IT IS MY ILICION THE LOVE… LOVE. .NO THAT TO SAY… MY HEART ROMPIO ..BROKENNNN….IN THOUSAND SMALL PIECES WENT AWAY… BUT LIFE GOO ON
.Y IF GOD PUT THAT FOOTPATH TO ME THAT CAMNO. .POR AHÍ WAY. .AUNQUE THIS PLENTY OF CLEARING AND THORNS I LOVE… I I CONCERN MYSELF. . OTHER… GOD DIRA !!
TO MY FRIENDLY BROTHERS OF THE CANCER
THAT UNITES. .SOMOS TO US FIGHTERS CHAMPIONS. .
LET WIN AND IF OF SOMETHING I CAN GIVE A RIGHT APPLICATION OF THERAPY
THIS IS THE ONE THAT I USE WITH ME
AND WAS THUS TO.. EAT MUCH NOT TO LET ITSELF DECAY BY THE SYMPTOMS OF STRONG MEDICINE. .
POWER TO US TO RETAIN ALL THE FOOD TO EAT
CANDIES
TO LISTEN TO MUSIC
NOW I DEDICATE MYSELF TO MAKE VIDEOS WHERE I UNLOAD MY EMOTIONS AND SHE MAKES ME FEEL WELL IN SPITE OF THE HELL THAT FILING LONG TIME IST GOING
I ONLY ASK TO THEM ALL SHE
THEY ARE NOT LET WIN DE CANCER OFF
THEY FIGHT BY ITS HEALTH UNTIL THE MAXIMUM.
AND THEY HAVE MUCH FAITH IN ITSELF.
MINE WAS IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOU TAKE DAMN CANCER TO ME
AND NOW I AM HERE COUNTING MY HISTORY WITHOUT HAPPY END. .
PERO ALIVE. .VIVAAA AND IT IS WHAT CONCERNS…
OTHERS GOD DIRA…
AMEN
I WANT THEM TO FRIENDLY TO ALL. FIGHT… CON TODO EL CORAZON..Y MUCHA FE
JUANA ORTIZ